I always thought I was a grateful person. Life lessons learned early on showed me the importance of many things and I never fell into any type of materialistic trap or had grandiose expectations. I did however have in mind that I deserved somehow a middle class life, a nice husband, a smart, healthy kid or two and a secure job with good pay. Not much to ask for- right? This should be kind of a "given." I was what Bugs Bunny would call an "Ultra Maroon." (Not sure exactly the meaning of that but, you get the idea.)
As I matured on my spiritual journey I realized so much more. I am not deserving of ANYTHING... NOTHING! Good relationships take time, nurturing, caring, respect, etc., they don't just happen. It is so difficult for so many people to have children, let alone healthy, smart ones. A good job needs to be earned and even then, there are no guarantees. Especially today, in this economy so many people are at risk of losing their jobs, pensions, retirement funds, etc.- it is all fleeting. This seems all so depressing- huh? But no; it is all so wonderful and freeing.
You see if we set the "peg" back the furthest it can go, that we come into this world with nothing, deserve nothing... then it's easy to see that everything that we do have in this life is a gift! Every friendship, loved one, sunrise, sunset and what lies in-between- it's ALL icing on the cake of life!
Of course there are many things that are within our control that we can do to change our lives, to make it better, our relationships stronger, etc. If you don't like what's going on between morning and night; do your best to improve that- whatever it may be. What you can't control, learn to accept (AKA- The Serenity Prayer).
Daily doses of gratitute are prescribed to combat depression and anxiety. During meditation, prayer or journaling, take time to be thankful for all that you have. It is a proven technique to help stamp out negative, self-defeating thoughts and to help change your perspective.
Thanks for Reading!
Gigi
A few years ago I scored off Ebay the obscure 3-D board game "Which Witch?" I think it was my favorite from my childhood because of my love for Halloween. I find this holiday to be a fan favorite with children and adults alike. I asked around as to what people enjoy about the season and these are some of the responses.
My kids tell me that the allure is of course the candy and that they like scaring people. I asked whether they liked to BE scared but they denied it. Although "Monster House" scared the heck out of them, (both had trouble sleeping that night and I should've been put in the Mommy "Hall of Shame" for letting them watch it) they both are begging to watch it again! I remember I really enjoyed being scared in my thrill seeking youth and some polled agreed to liking scary movies and haunted houses.
One person said that she loves the whole fall season and all the activities: hayrides, apple and pumpkin picking, carving the pumpkins, decorating and the various parties.
Of course a common theme that emerged came from the act of dressing up: "You get to be someone else." "You get to scare people if you're a mummy." "You can be your favorite hero or character." Most costumes are scary which goes back to the origins of Halloween, and having to scare away the undead by tricking them into thinking that we are dead ourselves (or something like that). I see the appeal of dressing up as the scary, dark creatures as unleashing our own "shadow."
Jung's concept of the shadow is that we encapsulate in our minds all that we dislike about ourselves; our weaknesses, irrationalness, "poor" human qualities such as selfish instincts, jealousy, undesirable traits, etc. The more we suppress the shadow and stuff it away instead of recognizing it and accepting/integrating those aspects into our conscious selves, the darker it becomes. Interestingly enough, Jung also believed that here in lies our creative energy as well.
Halloween can be a great opportunity to let the shadow out to play- in theory anyway. The shadow actually appears as dark figures in our dreams. It also reveals itself in projections on others. Often when someone really pushes our buttons and gets under our skin, they are exhibiting those qualities of our shadow. Qualities that are something we often fear, resent, can't accept in ourselves and sometimes, what we secretly admire.
When I taught "Abnormal Psychology" we discussed the shadow and I asked my students if they ever let their own shadow come out. The responses were amazing; it was one of the most interesting classes I taught. I revealed that I don't really like know-it-all experts that monopolize the conversation and who are show-offs... and there my shadow stood dressed in black, in front of them all: "Professor Roe."
Enjoy your Halloween! Gigi
The following email was sent to me and I wanted to share these great Halloween memories. (Author's name withheld)
I was sitting in a meeting the other day, looking out the window at all
the colorful leaves on the ground. I mentioned to a co-worker, "Didn't
you always hate having to wear a coat over your costume when
trick-or-treating?" (Blank stare) I love Halloween. I always did. I
remember my mouse costume in kindergarten and how all the kids pulled or
stepped on my tail. My mom made it and I liked how the head piece with
the big ears fit snuggly under my chin. It was cute and cozy. In high
school I won best original costume. I was suppose to be a chick in a
nest, but people thought I was a meatball in a bowl of spaghetti. Oh,
all the options! You could be anything or anyone you wanted to be, if
for just one day! You could look ridiculous and no one would care. The
possibilities! It was a time of taking all the decorations and
accessories down from the attic and assessing the inventory: plastic
pumpkin, wigs, Native American head-dress, makeup, costumes from
Halloweens past, flannel shirt for lawn dummy, etc. I remember being
embarrassed by my father handing out pennies and then nickels. I was
happy to relinquish him of his duties at the front door as I got older.
I would look forward to trick-or-treating in my aunt's neighborhood
because the houses were close together and my sisters and I always got
the best candy. There was a woman who always handed out stuffed
animals, as if she spent all summer winning them on the boardwalk. We
would eat pizza, have pumpkin pie and at the end of the night dump out
our pillow cases to compare how much "stuff" we collected. It was just
plain old fun.
The pool is covered, kids in school, leaves changing, and the days are getting shorter. This lack of sunlight causes many to have chemical changes that trigger depression symptoms. Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) include feeling down, tired, crying excessively, changes in appetite, weight, and sleep, excessive guilt, feelings of worthlessness, lack of enjoyment in things that once gave you pleasure, and thoughts of death. The time to start doing things to combat these symptoms is now, to enjoy yourself this winter:
1) GET 20 MINUTES OF DIRECT SUNLIGHT PER DAY- This has been shown to stave off SAD. Work this into your daily routine. Eat lunch outside, wait for the school bus with the kids, walk the dog, talk on the phone. You can puchase a full spectrum light box or bulbs and do it inside but Mother Nature is best.
2) EXERCISE- I could write volumes on the benefits of exercise on the mind, body and soul, but unless you live in a cave, you have a good idea also. (Then again those living in a cave are probably hunter and gatherer types and have a pretty good diet and exercise routine themselves.) If you already exercise, try to do more of it. You don't need to join a gym or take a class unless you want to be around others, but the latest research shows the benefits are mostly due to exercise's effect on the transmission of brain chemicals (the feel good brain chemicals) and not due to any social influences. Better yet: EXERCISE OUTSIDE -2 birds 1 stone.
3)COUNSELING- If the sunlight and exercise are not working, find a good counselor. It's not for everyone but it is very effective for many people especially in helping with depression.
4)MEDICATION-If you've tried the first three and you are still suffering, there are many different medications on the market. Talk it over with your doctor or a psychiatrist the pros/cons.
If you are SUICIDAL please get help right now. Call 911, go to the emergency room and talk to the on call psychiatrist, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800.273.8255, online www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Be Well - Gigi
The other day I had both kids with me to purchase some toothpaste. A seemingly mundane task if not for me wanting them to decide on only one tube. He wanted the "Sponge Bob" bubble mint flavor and she the "Princess" bubble mint flavor. I tried to explain, to no avail, that it didn't matter what picture was on the outside, it was the exact same thing on the inside. Noone was budging. We were at a standstill in aisle three. I realized that I was being just as unreasonable as they were; I couldn't expect my 3 year old to "get it", was this a battle worth choosing? (hardly), and they would use the toothpaste up way before it expired anyway. Just then Bill Murray popped into my head,"It just doesn't mattter...It just doesn't matter... It just doesn't matter" (Remember "Meatballs"?) Both tubes went into the cart and then we moved on to aisle four...
Well I just started creating my website tonight and I'm excited about this new venue! I was picking out the top header picture and just had to get creative input from my fashion consultant, who has the final word on all my clothing purchases, my 3 year old daughter. She liked the purple background the best, but I thought it was too bland. I really love this photo as I truly feel that the counseling relationship is a walk taken side by side and this really captures it. Although it is somewhat murky; life is so at times. As I contemplated all this, my daughter went up to the monitor and pointed to the bridge and asked, "Mommy, is that the way home?" I smiled and thought to myself, "When it's done right it is."
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